Is Your Family Overscheduled?

Dr. Jonathan E. Goldberg, clinical psychologist with advanced training in neurocognitive testing, child/adolescent psychiatry, firmly believes that overscheduling is detrimental. Other research indicates otherwise. We will look at both angles.

In an address to the parents of The Fessenden School, Dr. Goldberg reviewed a longitudinal study by the University of Minnesota that measured changes in children’s and families’ time use.

The study sampled diaries in 1981 and 1997, and found that in just this time span:

• There was a decline of 12 hours per week in overall free time for children
• Play time decreased by 3 hours a week
• Unstructured outdoor activities such as walking, hiking or camping fell by 50%
• Household conversations dropped by 100%, meaning that the average American family spent NO time per week when talking as a family was the primary activity. (Overall, in 1997, children averaged only 45 minutes a week in conversation with anyone in the family)
• Religious participation: a decline of 40% in hours per week in children’s (ages 3-12)
• A five-fold increase from 30 minutes a week to over 3 hours a week in passive spectator leisure, NOT counting television or other forms of “screen time”
• Family dinners: A 33% decrease over three decades in families who say they have dinner regularly as a whole family. (This finding is from repeated annual surveys of American families. – Robert Putnam, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.)

The decline in family dinners is the most concerning of these trends, according to Dr. Goldberg.

He cited a National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University report saying that children who ate five or more meals with their family per week displayed higher levels of academic achievement and psychological adjustment, and lower levels of alcohol risk, drug use, early sexual behavior, and suicidal rates. In fact, he noted, family meals were found to be a better predictor of scholastic achievement and behavioral adjustment than time spent in school, studying, church, playing sports and art activities.

But there is evidence to the contrary as well. According to a scientific study “Family Meals and Child Academic and Behavioral Outcomes” by Daniel P. Miller, PhD, Jane Waldfogel, PhD, and Wen-Jui Han, PhD, “there were no significant (p<.05) relations between FMF [family meal frequency] and either academic or behavioral outcomes, a novel finding. These results were robust to various specifications of the FMF variables and did not differ by child age.” (US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health, 2012)

So, if missing family meals due to overscheduling doesn’t do much harm to kids, what other negative outcomes can result from it? Well, the most concerning one comes from the lack of time for unstructured play. Unstructured, creative, imaginative play results in many positive benefits. First and foremost, it develops the child’s brain, even more than structured classroom time.

When it comes to brain development, time in the classroom may be less important than time on the playground.

“The experience of play changes the connections of the neurons at the front end of your brain,” says Sergio Pellis, a researcher at the University of Lethbridge in Alberta, Canada. “And without play experience, those neurons aren’t changed,” he says.

It is those changes in the prefrontal cortex during childhood that help wire up the brain’s executive control center, which has a critical role in regulating emotions, making plans and solving problems, Pellis says. So play, he adds, is what prepares a young brain for life, love and even schoolwork.

But to produce this sort of brain development, children need to engage in plenty of so-called free play, Pellis says. No coaches, no umpires, no rule books.

“Whether it’s rough-and-tumble play or two kids deciding to build a sand castle together, the kids themselves have to negotiate, well, what are we going to do in this game? What are the rules we are going to follow?” Pellis says. The brain builds new circuits in the prefrontal cortex to help it navigate these complex social interactions, he says.

And in people, he says, an added bonus is that the skills associated with play ultimately lead to better grades. In one study, researchers found that the best predictor of academic performance in eighth grade was a child’s social skills in third grade.

Another hint that play matters, Pellis says, is that “countries where they actually have more recess tend to have higher academic performance than countries where recess is less.” 

But academic achievement is not the only benefit of unstructured play.

There are other benefits to play: it requires attention and sharpens the senses; it demands mental dexterity and flexibility; it thrives on possibility; it expands human variability; it expands our nervous system; it allows us to take risks and try on new roles; it teaches kids how to get along with others and control themselves; it encourages creative problem-solving; it fosters decision making, memory, thinking and speeds up mental processing; it reduces aggression; it develops brain cells that exert control over attention, regulate emotions and control behavior. (1) – Get Parenting Help Now 

Finally, unstructured time with family develops your child’s character.

First, I’d ask myself what kind of adult you want your kid to grow up to be,” Alvin Rosenfeld author of “The Over-Scheduled Child” said. “And then I’d ask how you get there. How do you balance academics, athletics and character?”

Most parents Rosenfeld encounters say developing a strong character is most important. “Unfortunately, actions don’t always follow aspirations in terms of saying character is most important,” he said.

“And unscheduled time with family, but without goals or plans, is key to character development,” Rosenfeld said. “Those are the times children are more likely to wonder about the world and to ask questions.”

And unplanned family time has the added benefit of helping parents and children learn more about each other. “So you know your parents, and your parents know you,” Rosenfeld said. “That’s an essential facet of emotional health. If you feel your parents know you, love you and care for you, life can be difficult, it can challenge you, throw you curves, but you’ll always have that recollection inside and feel beloved.”