Nothing is more important to parents than the well being of our children. We worry about how our new relationship will affect them. We’ve seen them suffer right along with us, and it breaks our hearts to see them in pain. We need our partner to love our children and parent them in a positive, healthy way. We want to work together as a team, but different people have different parenting beliefs and styles and before you know it, we face serious family problems.
Those problems get even worse when our children don’t share our hopes and dreams for a new family. Some kids even go so far as to sabotage and undermine the new family in the hopes that they can get their old family back again. So it’s easy to see why it’s so hard.
We see our children’s pain and we become protective of them. We love them and want to love our partner’s children too, but it’s hard not to feel differently about our own vs. our partner’s children, especially in the beginning. We also struggle with blending family discipline strategies. In the beginning there are two different families living under one roof with two different sets of rules and this doesn’t always seem fair.
These are common issues when couples with children want to merge their lives.